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Whether you’re evading the police in a rickety junker or a road-hugging sports car, the handling in GTA V is great, and the fact that vehicles feel so different from each other means there’s a real reason to store the cars you like in the garages at your characters’ homes or in ones you can purchase in the city. Driving is so much fun that you’ll likely enjoy crossing even great distances in the game’s large world, taking in everything from the artwork on buildings along Vespucci Beach to the setting sun reflecting on the Alamo Sea. Should you tire of commuting across Los Santos, however, you can call a cab and warp to your.
When shooting breaks out, as it often does in the lives of these criminals, you have a terrific variety of weapons at your disposal that you can customize with suppressors, scopes, flashlights and other doodads. By default, your aim snaps to enemies. This makes picking them off quite easy, but gunplay is a lot of fun despite the ease of aiming, because you’re regularly fending off so many attackers and you still need to make good use of cover to stay alive. If you’re looking for more challenging shooting, you can switch to an aim assist option or to free aim at any time.
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It’s not exactly subtle – he literally has the word “Entitled” tattooed on his neck, and the in-game radio and TV’s outright piss-takes don’t leave much to the imagination – but it is often extremely funny, and sometimes provocative with it. Grand Theft Auto’s San Andreas is a fantasy, but the things it satirises – greed, corruption, hypocrisy, the abuse of power – are all very real. If GTA IV was a targeted assassination of the American dream, GTA V takes aim at the modern American reality. The attention to detail that goes into making its world feel alive and believable is also what makes its satire so biting.
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They called him ‘Edward the Caresser’ and with good reason. In his lifetime he bedded over 100 women, and probably many more.
His most famous mistress was Queen Camilla’s great-grandmother Alice Keppel,
but she was only the last in a very long line of bedfellows.
Bertie, as King Edward VII was known, had a hunger for women which was matched only by his voracious hunger for
food.
They could be showgirls, servant girls, aristocrats or foreign princesses – even the wives of his close friends.
He didn’t care as long as they said yes.
So outrageous was Bertie’s private life that a French
furniture-maker got to hear of it and designed a love-chair especially for him.
It was crafted to accommodate his increasing waistline –
another nickname was ‘Tum-Tum’ – and also his enjoyment of more than one lady at a time.
Distinguished historian Anthony Camp has been able to name at least 65 of the
king’s girlfriends – short and long-term – but
there were many more one-night stands, especially when the king-emperor travelled abroad.
Why was he so sex hot le-mad?
According to his biographer Jane Ridley, Bertie seethed with anger over being trapped into an early marriage at the age of 21 with Princess Alexandra of Denmark
– a match connived by his mother Queen Victoria and his sister Vicky,
in an attempt to get him to settle down.
‘He was driven by an impulse to revenge himself against his mother,’ Professor Ridley writes.
‘It was an impulse that never died.’
Bertie seethed with anger over being trapped into an early marriage at the age of 21
with Princess Alexandra of Denmark – a match connived by his
mother Queen Victoria and his sister Vicky, in an attempt
to get him to settle down
The long suffering Princess Alexandra of Denmark and the
Queen Consort of King Edward VII
Queen Victoria blamed her son for Albert’s premature death at the age
of just 42
Most historians name his first conquest as Nellie Clifden, an actress transported
by friends from England to Ireland where Bertie was
enjoying a summer camp with the Grenadier Guards.
He was 19, and it’s likely he’d already tasted the pleasures of the flesh – but
his father Prince Albert got to hear of the assignation and,
when Bertie returned to Cambridge where he was an undergraduate, took him out for a walk in the rain where he proceeded to tear him off a
strip.
Prince Albert died soon after – and Queen Victoria blamed her
son for Albert’s premature death at the age of just 42.
Not a year into his marriage to saintly Alexandra, Bertie dived into a life of adultery which would continue to
his death. His first cheat was with British-born Baroness Leonora de Rothschild, followed swiftly by a French princess,
Jeanne de Sagan.
He then turned to the wife of one of his friends, the politician Sir Edmund Filmer, ‘I
had a very pleasant tête à tête with her,’ he recorded triumphantly in his diary after a shooting party.
This breach of politesse – never bed your friend’s wife – did
not go unnoticed in high society. ‘Much talk about the P of Wales and his disreputable ways of going on,’ noted Lord Stanley disparagingly.
‘He is seen at the theatre paying attention to the lowest class of
women, and visits them at their houses.’
It wasn’t just tarts. ‘The women of the royal household must
sometimes have felt that he considered them to be his
personal harem,’ noted Jane Ridley.
Bertie was particularly taken with Harriet Mordaunt, the 20-year-old wife of an MP.
Once or twice a week, at 4pm, he’d visit her Belgravia house where she’d
obligingly ensured the servants had taken the afternoon off.
French princess, Jeanne de Sagan was Edward’s second
conquest
Lillie Langtry, only daughter of the Dean of Jersey, she was called the
Jersey Lily had many extra-marital lovers amongst
them were Prince Louis of Battenberg and Edward VII
French actress, Sarah Bernhardt was another of Edward’s
conquests
Patsy Cornwallis-West was the ‘aristocratic tart’ who seduced Edward when she was just 16
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But soon her husband discovered the affair. Returning home unexpectedly, he ordered the two ponies Bertie
had given Harriet as a love-token to be brought out and shot
dead in front her.
More misery followed when Lady Susan Vane-Tempest, daughter of the Duke of Newcastle,
told Bertie that she was pregnant by him.
Bertie ruthlessly cut her out of his life and recommended she went to see a dodgy doctor called Clayton. No record remains of their child being
born, but Lady Susan was later discovered to have blackmailed the prince for ‘at least £250’
over the pregnancy.
The list of famous names associated with Bertie during
his 68-year life is long – actress Lillie Langtry,
and Patsy Cornwallis-West – the ‘aristocratic tart’ who seduced him when she was just 16 – were perhaps the
two most high-profile.
The actress Sarah Bernhardt and Lady Randolph Churchill – mother
of wartime leader Winston Churchill – can be added to the list as well as Daisy, Countess of Warwick and Georgiana, Countess of Dudley before his final romance with Alice Keppel, daughter of a Scottish landowner and great-grandmother of our present Queen.
But these names are just the tip of the iceberg.
And of course there was a price to be paid for Bertie’s promiscuity.
‘If he expected he could use women for sex and then discard them, he was to be disillusioned,’ commented
Jane Ridley. ‘Many of the women with whom he began relationships refused to go quietly – blackmail,
pregnancy, even a court case were to return to haunt him.’
His final romance was with Alice Keppel, daughter of a Scottish landowner and great-grandmother of our present
Queen
Lady Randolph Churchill, daughter of Leonard Jerome of New
York – wife of Lord Randolph Churchill and mother
of Sir Winston Churchill
There was a price to be paid for Bertie’s promiscuity
As the king advanced in age and girth, his sexual appetite did not diminish – but his ability to perform did.
And so an enterprising furniture-maker called Soubrier designed a special love-chair which
Bertie could use in the company of one – and sometimes two – companions
Edward saved his most outrageous excesses for his favourite
city, Paris, where he had his pick of prostitutes and chorus-girls with his favourite haunt being the Moulin Rouge
music hall
Read More
Why royal jeweller Cartier ‘was the first to know King Edward
VIII would abdicate’
Even so he carried on his merry way, saving his most
outrageous excesses for his favourite city, Paris,
where he had his pick of prostitutes and chorus-girls.
His favourite haunt was the Moulin Rouge music hall, where his nickname was ‘Kingy’.
Louise Weber, the dancer known as ‘La Goulue’ (The Glutton) often yelled to him from
the stage, ‘Ello, Wales! Are you going to pay for my champagne?!’
As the king advanced in age and girth, his sexual appetite did
not diminish – but his ability to perform did. And so an enterprising furniture-maker called Soubrier designed a special love-chair which Bertie could use in the company of one – and sometimes two – companions.
There’s an entertaining post from Katie Kennedy @thehistorygossip on TikTok which demonstrates just how Edward VII’s love-chair could be
used.
And for a saucy ride through Bertie’s astonishing love-life, you can’t do better than take a look at Professor Jane Ridley’s Bertie: A Life of Edward VII (Vintage).
RoyalsQueen Camilla
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